come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
