I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize