I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
soo... how was my night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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