the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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