did you get engaged???
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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