Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I have fence marks all over my body
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I enjoy the company of your penis
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
