Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
