You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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