If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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