Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
