i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
