Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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