I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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