Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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