So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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