Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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