Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Are my feet made of real feet?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
