So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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