I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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