Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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