Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he was CRYING into my vagina
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
