Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
