If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
