I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
