You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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