matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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