is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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