so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
