On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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