you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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