I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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