I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
