come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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