I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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