He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
