I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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