Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
