Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
