stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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