Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
