Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
