It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
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