If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
