I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
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