I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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