You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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