there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
