May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
