6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
