Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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