I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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