youre lurking in front of me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
