i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
