..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
