WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.