I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
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I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?