I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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