Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
