Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals