Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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