If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
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I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Your penis caused this!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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